Alexis


detectivanilla:

percymyjackson:

So my driving teacher has three fingers on one hand and four on the other and he makes puns about it and it’s great.
And today he was like
“I went to the museum and found my ancestors’ look guys!”
And showed us this…

WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE NOTES



mioinne:

TELL US WHY YOU’RE CLOSED. WHY ARE YOU CLOSING YOUR DOORS. WHY ARE YOU LOCKING YOUR DOORS TO THE PUBLIC. TELL US THE REASON. WHY.

(Source: addelburgh)



communistbakery:

chilloutmotherfuckr:

booty made out of straws so you can SUCK MY ASS

y’all crazy

(Source: 20aliens)



peopledontalwayssuck:

sktagg23:

It’s the first time someone has ever fallen off the Forbes's billionaires list because of how much they donated to charity.


joshpeck:

talking to new people like

image

Via Aren't we all in each others pants?





mrscarstairs:

Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.

So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.

Weird right?

I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.

After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.

She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES. 

This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.

Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.



philsphancake:

synchronizedlameness:

guys, you know what this means??

google drive

People like you should be arrested



(Source: emmawathson)


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